Letting go day 7

 It came to me that I can’t reach him at 7, 8pm. 

Can someone really work through from 6 to 9pm without looking at the phone? 

I doubt.

He will refute everything when I were to ask.

I have scaled down the number of messages with him. Lesser than 10 a day. Putting him in archive helps. 

Please hold up. It will get easier as the days go. 

Letting go day 5

 I broke the no contact when I couldn’t sleep on day 3. Sent long texts. 

He replied the next morning. We went around in circles again. 

I delivered the gymshark package to him and went to Nitori. 

He slept from 8pm to 11am. Woke up inbetween at 11pm and 6am. 

I gave the options of either moving in this weekend (together to celebrate my mum’s birthday) or not moving in (I will prepare myself to leave). 

I guess it says all

No contact day 3

 Day 3

Feels somewhat empty, unsettling having my phone so quiet. It’s something I’d need to get used to, henceforth. 

Plain Vanilla sent a message about OOS on Chocolate cherry cola and offered replacement with Apple Caramel Custard. 

I thought they got the wrong person/order. Then it came to me that it could be A. The order was placed at 10:39am by Alfred Wong. 

In full honesty, I appreciate the reach out. I would be lying if I don’t feel anything about it. I was worried about sending it back to him, this will probably upset him and not showing any goodwill again. But by accepting the cupcakes, it would mean all is good, I’m okay to accept what happened; the lies, him and carmen. Because I falter, I allow, it will continue. 

No. This is not okay. 

Not until he admits his feelings for carmen. And all the things he hid and lied. 

He loved me. It was the past. 

He loves her. The present, and future. 

It was the past that binds us together. There is no love, no trust between us. It feels cold. It still hurts but I have let go. May he be happier with someone who can provide him what he needs now. A non-commitment relationship. 

Everyone has his time and place. My time with him has come to an end. Regardless how much I missed our times, the him, it’s never going to come back again. He’s not going to look at me the same way as how he used to, a goddess.

I will proceed with moving in alone. New home. New beginnings. I guess it will be lonely. 

Acceptance - Grieve - Heal - Move on

No contact day 2

Day 2

Found myself thinking of him more today. If he would message me. If he would see the story I posted on ig that I am letting him go. 

He did not.

Went back to Florence to set up Roborock and Tineco vacuum. Wanted to keep up with the cleanliness after the post reno cleaning. Also to keep myself busy.

Half the time I’m wondering if he would bring C back to Florence. To impress her or have a good time. Undeniably, the trust has entirely shattered. I wanted to change the door passcode but I could not figure out how. Maybe have to call the help desk. 

Concluded day 2 of no contact. Keep going. 

Letting go. No contact day 1

Dishonesty, broken trust, deceiving, hiding, omitting. I’m tired of holding on. 

I’m trying to let go. 

*

No contact day 1

There was a message ‘In office’ at 9am. 

Most of the day went well without thinking about him much. Work kept me busy. Boss passed 2 cases over inbetween patients. 

Went to unit to check on post reno cleaning. 

Posted article on story to ‘let them go. For your peace’

Officially starting day 1 of letting go. 

Please keep up. May I have strength to walk the path.