We held our heads up high. We had too much pride. We were too worn and torn in the battles we created. We were not trying anymore.
This feels hollow, like a part of my life being erased away. It feels so surreal as though nothing between us were ever true. I was finding proofs to validate us, but there were no evidence. All that remains were tattered pieces of memories. And I questioned myself, why did things changed. Perhaps it was not built on a concrete basis of understanding. We grew fondness from likeness of the past, not who the person truly is. I am unable to embrace you for who you are and this goes mutual.
I am curious to know, who gave up first? I was insecure all the time. I need assurance to know that I am important to you. And all these re-assurance was taking a toll on you. You don't understand how vulnerable I felt. The stress mounted on and I broke down. You put it as my mood swing. I wished you would have dug deeper and see the reasons behind the insecurities and alleviate my fears. But no, I was labeled schizophrenia, a bipolar who cannot grasp her own emotions. You drove someone to the borders of insanity and you're washing any claims of your doing. Do you realized how irresponsible and hurtful it was?
You asked, if there will be any possibility for us to walk together to the end. I have no answer. I don't have a crystal ball to see into the future. But I know I need someone tolerant, someone who will forgive me despite my willfulness, comparable to a kin, a family member.
I know you are tactical in managing people. You might have figured that it is not worthwhile fighting for or found someone who can possibly walk down with you together. Therefore, it seems so effortlessly for you to cut off connections. This may be the best, for you and me.
In full honesty, there were times I thought of you and bitterness surged. I had to keep myself busy and pretend everything was fine.
