No contact day 3

 Day 3

Feels somewhat empty, unsettling having my phone so quiet. It’s something I’d need to get used to, henceforth. 

Plain Vanilla sent a message about OOS on Chocolate cherry cola and offered replacement with Apple Caramel Custard. 

I thought they got the wrong person/order. Then it came to me that it could be A. The order was placed at 10:39am by Alfred Wong. 

In full honesty, I appreciate the reach out. I would be lying if I don’t feel anything about it. I was worried about sending it back to him, this will probably upset him and not showing any goodwill again. But by accepting the cupcakes, it would mean all is good, I’m okay to accept what happened; the lies, him and carmen. Because I falter, I allow, it will continue. 

No. This is not okay. 

Not until he admits his feelings for carmen. And all the things he hid and lied. 

He loved me. It was the past. 

He loves her. The present, and future. 

It was the past that binds us together. There is no love, no trust between us. It feels cold. It still hurts but I have let go. May he be happier with someone who can provide him what he needs now. A non-commitment relationship. 

Everyone has his time and place. My time with him has come to an end. Regardless how much I missed our times, the him, it’s never going to come back again. He’s not going to look at me the same way as how he used to, a goddess.

I will proceed with moving in alone. New home. New beginnings. I guess it will be lonely. 

Acceptance - Grieve - Heal - Move on