The proposal

Mr A proposed. Well planned and threw me off guard despite me knowing it was going to be that night. On my 35th birthday. 

I cried, still. The first proper proposal. I do wanted to say yes. Part of me that is holding back, yes the commitment, and also to bid goodbye to any attachments to others. I know somehow FW still stir the cords in me, I can be affected by his presence, to much of my dismay and as much as I wished to deny. The day I say yes, I know I have to let go and cut all these away. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone, especially A. He loves me too much and I don’t want to hurt him. Which inevitably I am already doing so.