May be my last visit to E’s place

Was at E’s place to collect pineapple tarts from his mum. I thought I’d be collecting from his sis downstairs but his mum said she’s at home and asked me to come up.

Friday evening, I was confident he’d have things with his friends/gf, hence I let my guard down and left my shoes at the bottom of the shoe rack.

Confided to his mum. I started crying before I could finish my second sentence. So was she. I’m so blessed that she dotes on me as much as a daughter, there is always a share for me whatever is there for the sliblings. We had happy occasions, Joelle’s wedding, CNY visitings, amist the not-so-happy ones, the demise of mm. I’ve developed attachment with this family. She said it’s okay, I can still drop by to say hello, never mind about E. I have to regard his feelings, nonetheless the kind offer which may be more of a formality. She told me to either, find my own happiness where another man who deserves me better; or try to message him and see if we can get back together. From the way the relationship ends, he hates me and avoids me like a plague. I told her it’s unlikely we can get back together. He’s happy now and let’s not break the status quo. We ended the conversation saying that she’s like another mother to me, if I am fortunate enough to have her as my godma.

Terence saw me out of her room and asked me if I read their messages. E came back and they were telling me not to come out. Terence said he should know that I was here - my shoes. But Joelle and I thought otherwise, becasue he wouldn’t pay to such details. Until I saw his shoes were parked BEHIND mine, then I realized he might have knew. All the more he’s going to hate me for silly antics behind his back. It just couldn’t get any worse, can it?

I met up with Joelle for a chat and while we’re moving to dinner at the mall, Terence texted to say E went out. Where to, we don’t know. I didn’t track, to save myself another heartache from the million questions I’d have to who he’s seeing and what he’s doing.

好想见，但不能见。
隔着一扇门，
但距离好遥远。