Imma stalker

I can’t bring myself to hate you, no matter how much I wanted.

I know you’ve moved on, you’re talking to people, someone who is interesting enough to keep you on WhatsApp - signs of new budding love, from the frequencies you were on-off WhatsApp. Jealousy, yes. You’ve said, ‘there is nothing you can do’. Indeed.

There will always be someone prettier, wittier, funnier, more compatible. There will never be a person who is created to fit you, who you do not need to compromise; it is if you would want to compromise. It is if you could or would stay committed to be in love with the same person.

I am watching at you over the bifrost.

I am talking to people mindlessly. Trying to fill my days with meet ups for lunch and dinner.

I shall face my fear. I was once terrified of seeing Fab, because of the hurt I went through and Cal spent 2 years restoring my faith. I never had to worry about him, straying and nots. I remembered seeing his parents at nex Fairprice and I went hiding from asle to asle. I don’t know where the courage came from, I do know I’m still afraid of seeing him, for me to tell myself not to fall again. I know I won’t survive the next breakup because it almost killed me. I don’t know how or what should I talk to him about - the awkwardness of 8 years void in our lives. ‘How are you’ for a startup line seems cliche but most appropriate. I could only say I’m in such agony now that I feel nothing could hurt me more. I may very well be wrong but I’m throwing myself off the cliff.