Can I go home please?

On my way to work, I had an urge to skip work and go back home, hide under my sheets and cry. I'm not prepared to forced myself to see patients, rather, to put up a strong front and cheery like I always do.

While life may appears with choices, in real terms, you don't. I don't get to choose. Because who stays or withdrawn is out of my range.

Tears were welling up my eyes while I was waiting for my boss to handover her patient. A demanding lady who never fails to stress me up the day before when I know she was coming. I had her in my nightmare once before and I woke up in a sweat.

Because I am in this industry, I have to ensure my family dental needs are fulfilled. I got spam calls from my mum saying that my dad is having toothache and needs an extraction. Honestly, in my head it kept circling, 'You could have sent me to dental school in Australia and I wouldn't have to rely on someone else to attend to you'. I hope they would appreciate the trouble I went through to find one who can see him by his schedule and asking favours around. Not to mention that I have to foot the bill of their dental treatments which came smack right in my face. My parents seem to take things for granted that I can miraculously conjure something, and things would fall in place nicely, all in the name of filial piety.

I didn't get my support for the course I chose. My mum thinks this is a 'dirty' job, seeing mouths on day to day. I pulled through poly by myself, not getting allowances since my sponsorship in year 2. The school fees were paid through mum's cpf which I repaid in full, hardcash monthly after graduation while serving my bond. Nor the support came when I enrolled into my Business degree. I paid everything for myself, from the tuition fees, exam fees.

I wanted to escape my life so badly.