11-12-14' Speaking up

Calvin commented I haven't been blogging, which means I'm worries free. 

I told him no. It should be worrying when one is not expressing because writings helps to release the tensions, anxiety and unhappiness better than verbal or other forms of expressions. Also, shutting himself away is dangerous because:

1)no signs or symptoms can be observed

2)no one knows and no one can help 

Indignant, disgruntled, distressed, disappointed to cognitive dissonance between real and ideal self, stemming disbelief and self doubt. It reconstructs his identity and sow seeds of inferiority. He finds no value in talking things out since it wouldn't change anything that he decides to take things by his own hands and ends his journey. 

Am I becoming the 'he'? I'm surprised I could say 'life's cool' when someone asked me how is life. I am pressured to show the ideal identity. Maybe it was superseded because I value the person and his perceptions. 

And yes for almost a good 2 months, I stopped blogging. There were times thoughts spouted and I needed to rant but I swept it under the carpet. Because others don't like soapy drama, because others don't want to read melancholic stories when their lives are bitter enough, because others want to see pictures and everything wonderful, because I don't want to go through the conflict being myself and who I want others to see me in. Can we live by a society where we wouldn't be judged so harshly?