22-06-14' fatal blow

How many chances must one give to be benevolent to others and to self?

Fear, paranoid, hurt, scar of the past. The  scar silt opened with lies like razors. Bleeding mercilessly and relentlessly, tracing from the previous wound. My world collapsed when it ended. I am reminded how helpless I was- broken, despired. My family and friends were aching for me, trying ever so hard to lift me up. The journey was arduous and took years. Everyone knew the magnitude of the matter so much so that it becomes a taboo, a history never to be mentioned again. 

I don't know how to continue, or how to face it because I don't know what to trust or distrust, on the truth or the distorted truth. Am I seeking the distorted truth so that I could get the answer I wanted, to listen to the part I wanted to and disregard the rest? 

White lies are meant to protect one from hurt but cuts deeper in when the receiver knows the truth. Because this heavily mutilated trust. What is left when trust vaporizes? Nothing.