12-06-13' Thank you Selangoon Khakis!

My pronounciation went wayward with my excess phlegm. My throat could get dry and itchy at times or clogged with phlegm. I get ear blocked often too, so I couldn't hear that well these days.

I'm sorry if any of you had problems understanding what I'm trying to say and/or repeating your sentences again because I couldn't hear what you've said. Or it could be my sudden bad cough or bout of sneezes that irrate you. 

It's that kind of ailments which doesn't kill but is irritating. 

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After some time to sediment my thoughts, the source of anguish came from the uncertainties I was not prepared to face. Being unemployed, bored and uncertain on my future livelihood and expenses are the main concerns. 

I have over-simplified the matter of 'taking a break', because I yearn to stop working after not holidaying (jetting out of sg for more than a year) and the anguish from burning ALL my leave entitlement just for exams and not for myself - that I went out of focus, on the importance of having a pit stop. 

I thought I had it in plan, but hell no. The dilemma remains vivid and clear- to work or not to? And if yes, I couldn't retract my letter but to step down to part-time would mean it'll be difficult to survive and pay for my school fees, household expenditure, and personal expenses.  

I have yet to figure this part out. Maybe in due time but till then, I feel trapped and unhappy. Unhappy that I brought this predicament upon myself, regretful that I was so full of myself. I couldn't differentiate between confidence and arrogance. I could trust myself nor judgement no more.