08-06-13' The truth about CHL.

'I am fat, ugly and I have no friends'

This was what I used to tell Calvin when I was depressed.

Lonely. Like the world has ousted me. What have could been worst than being denied of existenance of one's presence? You are breathing and living but no one is aware. It does not matters whether you are around; such insignificance that if you disappear, no one notices or were affected. The living is worst than those who passed on but yet remembered, leaving a legacy.

There were times my mind went to the extreme and I wanted to prove my existence by shutting my blog, or Facebook account so that people would ask if I'm okay. Attention seeking, I supposed. 

Those who counsel people and appears to be tough are often the people who needed help the most. Because they have used up all their strength trying to protect others that they are unable to fend for themselves. 

There are many people out there feeling the same way as I do but has difficulties putting words together or express it out. I hope I am reaching out for people who are 'trapped' and gather more voices that they are not alone. 

For the fact that this article is here, it shows that I am sane (still, thankfully) and not suicidal yet. Because blogging and writing (typing, in this case), helps to vent out frustrations in a most effective way.