16-06-13' Crisis Junkie.

I'm turning into a crisis junkie! Melodramatic. Oh my! 

Gotta revitalize my happy cells by having optimistic perspectives.

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The Minions Rush is so cute! For all potato lovers, please go download, it'll get you hooked for hours.

12-06-13' Thank you Selangoon Khakis!

My pronounciation went wayward with my excess phlegm. My throat could get dry and itchy at times or clogged with phlegm. I get ear blocked often too, so I couldn't hear that well these days.

I'm sorry if any of you had problems understanding what I'm trying to say and/or repeating your sentences again because I couldn't hear what you've said. Or it could be my sudden bad cough or bout of sneezes that irrate you. 

It's that kind of ailments which doesn't kill but is irritating. 

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After some time to sediment my thoughts, the source of anguish came from the uncertainties I was not prepared to face. Being unemployed, bored and uncertain on my future livelihood and expenses are the main concerns. 

I have over-simplified the matter of 'taking a break', because I yearn to stop working after not holidaying (jetting out of sg for more than a year) and the anguish from burning ALL my leave entitlement just for exams and not for myself - that I went out of focus, on the importance of having a pit stop. 

I thought I had it in plan, but hell no. The dilemma remains vivid and clear- to work or not to? And if yes, I couldn't retract my letter but to step down to part-time would mean it'll be difficult to survive and pay for my school fees, household expenditure, and personal expenses.  

I have yet to figure this part out. Maybe in due time but till then, I feel trapped and unhappy. Unhappy that I brought this predicament upon myself, regretful that I was so full of myself. I couldn't differentiate between confidence and arrogance. I could trust myself nor judgement no more. 

08-06-13' The truth about CHL.

'I am fat, ugly and I have no friends'

This was what I used to tell Calvin when I was depressed.

Lonely. Like the world has ousted me. What have could been worst than being denied of existenance of one's presence? You are breathing and living but no one is aware. It does not matters whether you are around; such insignificance that if you disappear, no one notices or were affected. The living is worst than those who passed on but yet remembered, leaving a legacy.

There were times my mind went to the extreme and I wanted to prove my existence by shutting my blog, or Facebook account so that people would ask if I'm okay. Attention seeking, I supposed. 

Those who counsel people and appears to be tough are often the people who needed help the most. Because they have used up all their strength trying to protect others that they are unable to fend for themselves. 

There are many people out there feeling the same way as I do but has difficulties putting words together or express it out. I hope I am reaching out for people who are 'trapped' and gather more voices that they are not alone. 

For the fact that this article is here, it shows that I am sane (still, thankfully) and not suicidal yet. Because blogging and writing (typing, in this case), helps to vent out frustrations in a most effective way. 

06-06-13' Sore throat x Royce chocolates

 I have cravings for Royce chocolates despite having sore throat. Such a glutton! 

04-06-13' Korea?

Korean Airline $655 for Jul. 

So tempted!

01-06-13' feeling defeated

I've lost. Have to come up with contingency plans. The last round was a combination of people, place and luck, which I lacked a good mix. 

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Did a skin analysis by SK-II earlier today. The consultant used a helmet-like machine to capture image from your side profile to analysis the conditions of your skin measured against pigmentations (spots, scars), radiance (glow), texture (smoothness), firmness (tightness), wrinkles. The grading were based on whether you are on par with your other peers who are the same age as you. 

My skin is 23 years old. I had my make-up on and that could have skewed the results, particularly the pore size assessment, which I stealthily concealed with Benefit's POREfessional. 

I'd love to try it again without my make-up on!