18-06-2010' 49th day ritual

And so it was revealed. After the admittance to hospital, grandma gave her instructions to the last wishes she wanted her children to fulfill.

This stirred an unexplicit feeling in me- if I would be able to do the same, with my thoughts preoccupied with paving the future for my descendents. Most likely not. I will be terrified of where I would be, when it's gonna be.

She had in mind, family cohesion. We had a good lunch over the round table at Tekong Seafood, something which the extended family hadn't been doing so for a decade. As we reminisce the old days, guilt came to me as why we hadn't been doing so when grandma was around, especially this wish, I believe, had been in her heart all along.

My parents have always pinning these hopes on their 2 children.
1. Going university
2. Owning a family car

Its a shame that till date, neither of us is able to achieve.

Seeing how the envious my folks were, chanting and praising their silblings for having a good life because of their childrens' accomplishment, has brought no less shame to their daughter. This indirect cue has worked it's magic and inspired me to own a vehicle. I can see the glimmerly proudness of their precious girl in their eyes when I have gotten my driving license. By the end of year, a rental car at least, I swore to myself.
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SGY 3803R. What resemblance, yet again.