09-04-2010` Vulnerable

I feel extremely vulnerable. Hate it. Being ever so affected by another's wild cards.

I am having second thoughts. All I could say is the differences are overwhelming, in terms of perceptions, attitudes. I am a believer of "Give & Take" and I'm smacked in the face to accept "Only give what you can. I'm not expecting so don't expect me to give in as much".

The liberity to roam with no concern of jealousy is too much of a freedom for me. It all came so surreal. I feel like I ain't me anymore. I'm open to acceptance but I do expect efforts on the other end.

Instead of expecting me to enter your world, how about taking a step back and come into my world? Of course, I know its impossible. I merely want to watch "康熙来了" without feeling any guilt or inferiority.

For the first time, I actually look forward to work FULL shift on a Saturday. Duh!

I missed being myself. Maybe I've gotten used to living by myself for the past 5 months. I am gonna freed myself, back to basics, living by myself.

*
Haven't been keeping up with my runs. Pre-occupied and all sorts of excuses.

And I'm munching relentlessly on 1/2 of the BIG Cadbury Dairy Marble Milk Chocolate in chunks.

SIN.