24-06-07` "menstrual cycle"

contrary to others and my previous posts, reflections and psycho stuff are seldom touched on. it does not mean i don't think; its more of i don't see a need to. janurary babies think alot maybe because they are born eariler, being physically and mentally older, therefore they have bigger rooms / storage space in their brains for self talk. lame hypothesis :)


the menstrual cycle starts again. i believe my dearest shud know what its referring to. *blink blink to jing. HAAS.

its protraying like a drama, with the histories repeated hence forming the menstrual cycle. predictable.

now upcoming with more characters into the story.

we are the supporting crew who help out in the counselling. when the goodwill went deaf ears, we know when to stop. it wasn't intention but is certainly involuntary. just like the involuntary action of our pupils to constrict when exposed to increased light intensity.

the presumptous nature creates the perception of high self worth. little did the consious knock into the person's mind. maybe it is derived from a low self esteem that triggers the self-defence mechanism.

yes, everyone have their own problems. i read an article that goes like this "if you think your problem is the greatest, think again. an experiment of the roles of 2 different person were exchanged. and the conclusion was clear - the individual still perfers to have their own problems instead of another's."

i have learnt this in my psychology / sociology lectures. the 5 types of people who will never be happy. of which 2 strongly craved into my brain cells - entertainer and victim. as the name implies, entertainer is the one who always think of others, sacrifies in order to make others happy; victim is the one who victimised herself, converging all negative thoughts. hence if one thinks that by victimising herself, she will 'recover', think again. as a natural reaction, people will encourage you out of kindness but in the long run it will become what is known as sympathy. this propels to a stage of people ard you to be mere aquitances instead of friends because they don't enjoy being with you when they have to transform into a counsellor.

of course it is nice to know or feel being admired but please know the percentage of it being a reality. make the line between the possble and impossible clear. like i always show my 'affections' towards ___ , but in reality, i don't think we're possible. jing, ying and the world knows that! (and i don't cling a hope on that, hahas)

while it doesn't hurt to dream, know who you are and who you wanna be. the battle between 'true self' and 'ideal self'.

i am an emo person who manage to contain the negatives to the peripherals of 'when-to' and 'when-not-to'.

i am not the best person who delivered logic. i have many problems on hand too, most of which i do not wish to involve others in the listening. the ones who i pour out will be the selected few. you can choose to have many good friends or a few best friends. i have chosen the latter because i am more comfortable in divulging to a small group.

i will be a good listener if you proved your worth as a friend.

beneath every happy face, there is misery beyond.