27-09-2010` My OPG

Sorry if you have difficulty understand; this post is dental-related, technical jargons are used.

I had OPG (Full mouth Dental X-Ray) taken.

I have big molars especially lower left and right first molar.

Low sinus floor, which explains the sinus issues I'm experiencing.

I cast the blame of localised bone loss at #14 to my orthodontic treatment.

Suspected decay on the #26 distal but a close up shot of the area with a bitewing doesn't show any radiolucency or signs of decay.

The alignment on my right is not as perfect, evident from the overlapping of the teeth; characterised by a right Class II occlusion.

The biggest discovery- I have rectangular incisor crowns, contrary to my clinical 8x8cm squarish incisors which attribute to the gummy smile (aside from the low maxillary labial frenum, which could very well resulted from the torn I had when I fell in Primary 2 and fractured my front tooth).

The course I went to have taught me ways to diagnose and treatment plan for gummy smile. In this case, I would need a crown lengthening surgery and less likely a maxillary skeletal surgery. Of course, a periodontist or oral surgeon could say better.

I'm seeking options to eradicate this 'gummy issue'. Not anything urgent, but it will always be at the back of my mind.

I don't like my gummy smile. :(

Smile

Smile, and the world will smile with you.

21-09-2010` What should I do on 10 Oct?

Actually, I do have a hunch that something is not right. I am a woman afterall, a highly sensitive one. So what are my options?

A)Go one-to-one and have a confrontation
B)Call up and vent my distress
C)Ask around why I'm off the loop
D)Do nothing

I chose the teddy bear approach, D) Do nothing. Along with it comes good and bad. The good, is not to pursue the matter, leave it to rest, feign ignorance. Perhaps they don't mean it, or there could be other reasons. The bad, ultimately I'll feel sour for a long time. It's going to brew and harnest over time and when the day comes, I'll either throw up eveything or give up on the 5 years friendship and adopt the 'can't be bothered' attitude.

Friends embrace you for who you are. I can be a listener; I can hold secrets; I can laugh and cry with you. That is all if you were to be able to see beyond my amoured self. People do things for a reason, I do things for a reason. I can't expect you to understand unless you were to take the path I took but at least, to be empathetic.

If you would have asked, as a gesture of goodwill and involvement, I wouldn't feel this bad. How would you feel if you were the one being left out? How would you feel...

20-09-2010` Ostracized.

I was contemplating on how to pen this down. Alas.

Its official; I'm being ostracized. Outcast. Anti-social.

Why? I don't bite. :/

I was in a cab when I realised I was once a regular on the CTE. I was stripped off the priviledge of being driven around and this long stretch of road has since become so unfamiliar. The widening of the lanes, ongoing construction work, relocation of the ERP gantries. I used to remember the different charges for individual gantries. I knew the exit of Havelock road stands the gantry which deal the greatest damage to cashcard; I could have asked the driver to use the Outram exit instead.

It'd not been easy, for this transition. I see, I feel, I know, yet my hands are tied behind my back and I couldn't do anything about it. Just let me rant, for the only thing I can do for myself.

I dreamt that I died, 2 days back. I'm glad I'm breathing when I woke up. It seems so real. Perhaps insights to life after death, after toying with suicidal thoughts.

I was looking at my corpse. Cold, expressionless. My family was grieving for me. It hurts to see people cry for me, especially my mom. She's taking it hard.

My soul was led to and confined within a space together with other spirits. I was trying so hard to relay dreams to my loved ones, telling them I'm leaving. Or more so, to let them remember me once more. I tried to send images of my past existence to E and F. I saw F happy and aged. I have lived; I don't want to be forgotten.

It took me a good 7 days to recover from tonsillitis.

Cal has taken great care of me despite my often incompliance and, not to mention the risk for being infected by a walking bacteria warehouse.

Thank you.

Dinner break on a Monday evening. It's raining and I'm sitting on the bench infront of the bus stop, listening to the symphony nature performs. Kovan Residence is in construction. No matter from which angle, it doesn't appeal to me that each unit cost a whopping $1.2million. Bah! I will think it's the nicest appartment if it is mine.

My throat is still aching from tonsillitis. I did something funny. The child in me whipped out a pen and doodle a big 'TONSILLITIS HURTS!' then strike it off and crashed the paper into a ball. Then hoping the next moment, 'AKADEDABRA! Pooof!' the pain is ward off.

Let your inner child guide you. You'll be amazed.

What's under that pretty face?

Intellectual attracts me now.

I'm burning in 38.9 degrees celsius. A lump in my throat and my muscles are aching.

I curled up on my bed, hoping to rest but I'm floating in neither 3 zones. Forced the porridge down for the sole reason of medication. I threw up, afterall.

I dragged my feet to work for the 2 patients in the morning. Being a clinican voids my priviledge of being a patient. Efforts weren't recognized, and I was struck with guilt for leaving early. This doesn't happen when I'm working for the board. The striking difference is meeting your kpi, then do things OTOT; versus expectations to always churn out more. More humanity please. Being in a managerial position requires you to deploy compassion and flexibility. I shouldn't have turned up at all.

I'm a wrecked doll