29 vy

27-04-2010` On this day...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You meant the world to me.

23-04-2010` Tokyu Tailung

Spur excitement for the TW trip. I am so gonna go Taiwan!

20-19-2010` Busy week before departure

Its gonna be an action-packed week before I fly off for TW, HK.

Mon 26/04 - 10am-245pm
Tues 27/04 - 1pm -9pm
Wed 28/04 - 10am-9pm
Thurs 29/04 - 10am-6pm
Fri 30/04 - 5pm -9pm
Sat PH OFF *Banu's Wedding
Sun 02/05 - 10am-5pm
Mon 03/05 - 10am-9pm

I am getting worried that I might not be able to pull through.

19-04-2010' read up on self help

Reading up on 'How Can I Ever Trust You Again?' by Andrew G. Marshall.

19-04-2010' Fab

Fab was the best.

I've tried. But I don't think I can live with any other man besides him. I held another's hand the way he held me. This jolted me to reality, how much I have adapted to him.

6 months, easily 180 days. I loved Fab. The man I once entrusted my house keys to. Might be very well the only one.

16-04-2010` Braces debond in May!

Braces debond on 19th May! Retainers and S&P on 21st May.

I find that the lower anterior are mild malaligned still but my orthodontist thinks it's straight enough. He said the slight 41 'crank' (it's like rotated to me) will bounce back to norm after the braces are removed. Seriously, I aren't too sure about that!

I will have to wear retainers, that's to say to remember to remove them during my meals (with possible saliva dripping and sorts of yucky and unglam sights) and putting it back without wrapping it in tissue papers and risked losing it by leaving on the table or cleared by the 'ever-so-hardworking' waitresses or cleaning aunties.

I'm so glad I've started out ortho tx and that its coming to a closure.

Crazy as it sounds, I do consider crown lengthening to correct my gummy smile. Unless i'm able to find a super nice dentist who'll volunteer to do at minimum cost or FOC.

*
I'm relieved to hear from J! At least an email to relay he's safe. Platonic friendship.

:)

TIRED.

14-04-2010' Boring!

Life's pretty much back to normal. That's to say with me struggling hard to entertain myself. Grrr...

*
I don't want to watch Ip Man 2 alone. The thriller is enough to make me tear.

13-04-2010` Avoidance

I tend to check on air fares when my fingers are free. Even though I don't have much clues on how's the next trip gonna be. I hope to go to States and stopover at Narita. How can it be done? I don't know!

The need to escape has intensified. A getaway, getaway, getaway.

*
I did 7.5km. As though I can run away from my problems in reality. Avoidance.

12-04-2010` I'll miss NMC

:/

One of my close friend in the clinic is leaving for Nigeria, might be settling down for good.

I'll miss her.

D

I've tried. Tell me why should I even bother to feel guilty.

I can sense the cynical giggles and "You deserve it!"

Sigh.

11-04-2010` This April

Less than a month to TW! April will zoom past fast with these events lined up- IDEM, Jing's birthday, Banu's wedding.

I sort of have this chill in my spine knowing this will be my single trip through and through, all alone in foreign country! I must say, 'Hweelin has grown up!"

I've slacken in planning the iternary. I'll go wherever my legs takes me to.

*
Arizona was hit by earthquakes along the Mexico borders. I've sent an email to J. He smsed me once and stopped thereafter. I wonder did he reply in coresponding to the mail or otherwise. I hope he's safe.

09-04-2010` Vulnerable

I feel extremely vulnerable. Hate it. Being ever so affected by another's wild cards.

I am having second thoughts. All I could say is the differences are overwhelming, in terms of perceptions, attitudes. I am a believer of "Give & Take" and I'm smacked in the face to accept "Only give what you can. I'm not expecting so don't expect me to give in as much".

The liberity to roam with no concern of jealousy is too much of a freedom for me. It all came so surreal. I feel like I ain't me anymore. I'm open to acceptance but I do expect efforts on the other end.

Instead of expecting me to enter your world, how about taking a step back and come into my world? Of course, I know its impossible. I merely want to watch "康熙来了" without feeling any guilt or inferiority.

For the first time, I actually look forward to work FULL shift on a Saturday. Duh!

I missed being myself. Maybe I've gotten used to living by myself for the past 5 months. I am gonna freed myself, back to basics, living by myself.

*
Haven't been keeping up with my runs. Pre-occupied and all sorts of excuses.

And I'm munching relentlessly on 1/2 of the BIG Cadbury Dairy Marble Milk Chocolate in chunks.

SIN.

06-04-2010` Dan's Birthday

Its Dan's Birthday. I did what I could. :)

*
My bad day. Full of Hiccups. Recollection of incidences.

1)My appointment at NSC was denied because I was considered a private patient after 16th March. Ought to have another referral letter for the subsidised rate.

2)Wanted to get cakes for Dan. I didn't realise Pasta de Waraku opens at 11.30am. I was mopping over having to wait for 30 minutes before I can have my lunch and the cakes.

3)I thought I overshot my stop at Outram and landed in Tiong Bahru and hence, I panicked, CHECKED the stations chart and alighted. Crossed the platform, took the train and realised I was heading to Redhill, the reversed direction. Thats to say, I didn't overshot my station in the first place. Awed by my stupidity.

As expected, I was 15 minutes late for work. This breaks my clean slate of punctuality for work.

4)45 minutes appointment for CAP and my patient is 30 minutes late. Multiple fillings to be done. Great.

5)My last kid patient wasn't too cooperative. Upper left E pain subsided but abscess persistent. My GIC for D came off twice during placement (its the moisture I guess), and I was freaky pissed.

Okay, my luck will turn to the better when the clock strikes 12.

05-04-2010` Estranged.

What the F*CK. I feel offended. I do not want to hurl hurtful remarks the way you did. I just don't want to talk to you. I thought you'd understand, was so wrong.

Estranged. If you don't like what you see here, you can very well butt off. Leave my life.

03-04-2010` Confused

I am confused. I'm acting on my id and forsaking all my ethics. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if I would regret in future. Or would I regret not doing so in future.

*

I knew a gay friend recently. If you see me on the streets with a guy you've never seen before, he's the gay friend. And no, not in a relationship. I will announce when I'm offically seeing someone.

01-04-2010` Aprils' Fool

Are you fooled on this Aprils' Fool?

I had a smooth sail through the day, phew!

*
Say, do you think Ang Mo Baked Potato and Chinese Ramen goes well together? I have my doubts!

Aries are egoistic. On par or overthrow Leo on that part.