29-09-07` zouk

first time to zouk. impression wise, better than powerhouse. at least we are able to move around, except in phuture.

the botaks, wai lao (mao yun), and joe are so cute! i would say the feel of their hair is like the golf grass. haha.

**
people like to hear lies. the concept is clearly depicted in the radio ad, "only hear the good things".

in the end someone has to keep weaving lies in order to please the scenario or rather the people 'concern'.

i have tried to speak the truth, but what i've gotten is certainly unrewarding. comparably to a strong dispel power for 2 magnets facing the same pole.

hence this merciless fact has taught me the importance of being a good liar.

why do u make it so complicated when things are so easy?

went to punggol park to celebrate lantern festival yesterday. not so much into celebration, its more of a walk with a lantern in hand. kelly and her boyfriend was there as well.

**
my phone bill normaly falls within the 30 range.

it shot up to 60 for the last bill.

for the 100 mins free outgoing, i used up another extra 100 mins.

here's the scarier part - the free incoming is 827.4 mins. if incoming isn't free, i would have been bankrupt by now.

i'm worried for my boy who makes the outgoing call to my incoming call. because the logic spells more trouble on his side.

dating is expensive!

21-09-07` pool

AP patient. i don't expect this nonsense in a reputable secondary school.

she was late for half an hour and set the timing that she has to leave. she said she was 'forced' to come especially she had visited a general dentist a month ago. i wouldn't care a less if ur parents had kindly signed consent refused.

i did a scaling and polishing for her. when she saw her gums bled, she went hysterical yelling "OMG, u made me bled! I HATE U! i'm going to beat u up if i see u outside. don't ever let me see u outside."

my say? "i don't like u either."

**
i must say fabian is good in pool. a pro. :)

loves.

20-09-07` i am bad

i am a bad person, at least to somebody out there, i am bad.

its sad to know this comes from a 3rd party, by a 2nd party.

and the worst thing is, i know this person, this person knows me.


depressing.

18-09-07` goodbye ethan

updates from xiao xin about ethan.

he's now happy with 2 women chasing after him. one who is already married. haas.

now i understand why he can get over me in such a short period of time. vengences i used to have finally found a resolution. in short, i find myself R.I.P.

though there isn't any hard feelings, i just can't bring myself to bless him in his future romance. perhaps the one inside me is cursing how 'a man should never treat a lady'.

i can be friends with galvin, junjie but not him.

he said 'u made me feel like shit.'
and now he said 'actually my temper isn't the worst'

i would be lying if i were to say his news didn't revoke any memories. i would categorise it as 'sensitive'.

rest the case.

i am glad to be with fabian who is loving me like none other.

if u people have realised, i don't elaborate our dates. i will only flaunt the 'bits and pieces' when necessary. the rest will be kept in our hearts. :)

17-09-07` new uniform

seeing fabian everyday. happy. yaps.

he's the first one i have the urge to get married with.

hahas, pardon me, this is the honeymoon period still.

**
was fighting strong with the idea of wearing our blue yucky uniform to work today. i was in the polo when i got the msg from pq that she's wearing hers. well, good friends follow suit, don't they?

i felt like i'm 3 months pregnant with the ultra loose waist in S. i seriously doubt it is an S at all. the cutting resembles that of a water barrel, straight cut and expect nothing less.

i am experiencing how it is like to be in maternity wear.

long, heavy yet airy. perhaps liken a 3/4 robe?

for a super duper lazy bum, now changing into home clothes after office hours is possible for me.

11-09-07` melbourne!

i sleep, eat, pee and poo. the same old me. perhaps the exceptional part is i ate, peed and poo-ed more, sleep less.

i wanna go melbourne! though its at the planning and 'wanting-to-go' stage still. hees, cos the ripcurl, roxy stuff there are dirt cheap! LOL.

awws.. holidays!

07-09-07` alumni gathering

alumni gathering for the cohort 03 and 04 of dental hygiene and therapy.

we are an un-punctual lot.

played the 'blanket' game. the 04 group crowned the title. this proved that juniors know seniors better. just like we know our seniors better than juniors.

had the friendship dance. it was an unwilling attempt on the 04s since we shudn't be the ones joining in the forfeit. but anyways, we learnt something new and its fun. :)

01-09-07` dating theory?

when u are a teen / young adults, parents find all means to stop u from having a relationship with one whom they considered, a bad person.

when u are an old adult, they will use every resource possible to marry you off, to the extend of throwing away all the boundaries of age and background of your partner.

what does all this proves?

parents can judge a person better than we can? and what criteria do they measure? the tops of the chart will be age, occupation, background. these do determines he can give you a good life but not if he WILL give u a good life. like all the people knows how to brush, but how many of them faithfully brushes 2 times a day, and cover all the surfaces?

i know ppl are reading and 'spreading' the news. here i am being honest yet ppl rat on me. this is sabotage. please respect me. for all u know this is the last time u'll be able to read the posts.

i am disappointed with my parents. their concern came at the wrong timings. when i was young and yearn for their affections, i got nothing. what i can recall of the image of my father is caning when me and my brother, made too much noise and woke him up. the only toy we as preschoolers had from him is nothing more than a box of lego; my mother nags about my studies and finds tuition teacher for me, bringing me to temples to pray for excellence.

yes, as not to disappoint her efforts, i was in the best class all along, striving hard to keep my place in the top 25% of the school. i spent an equviliant amount of effort in order to meet the balancing scale.

i do not wish to stay in a house with politics. i know even my closest family GOSSIPS behind my back. how do i know? becos she gossips abt u too.

i do not need this overwhelming sudden concern of who i am going out with, becos it simply shows how artifical and supeficial parents can be. i am brought up in a cold enironment and this sudden wayang and hoo-has feels out of place.

i believe i do not have the autonomy to choose a boyfriend or stay out late until i'm in my 30s when i am not attractive to rapist or robbers.

oh ya, till then, bring me to the grave with you.

and bad enough, during the preachings, fabian heard everything - how i will get cheated, blah blahs. please, if you overheard your boyfriend family rejected or against you, saying how u would con his money, how would you feel? especially what they had are based on bits and pieces of words about him. its so not fair.

on 2 occassions he knew but he kept quiet and smile it off. i sensed that something was wrong but its awkward to bring it up. if i were rejected by his family (which is possible with my family background), i wouldn't know what to do. but the bottomline is, i don't think i will be able to smile it off.

31-08-07` school dinner

my senior and i were invited to the school's teachers day celebration dinner at furama riverfront. we were kinda unwilling to go since we aren't good in PR. our heads strongly encourage our attendance. i left like i was doing OT. LOL.

**
i'm with fabian.

talking about worlds apart, i have been coming down hard on him of his cigarettes and vulgarities. a kindergarten school teacher with a ruler in her hand. (man, i always made stupid analogy.)

he reads me like a book, or even like a transparency?

i don't know what i want.

he said "there's a 50-50 chance that u will have another 2 boyfriends before settling down, around the age of 26". he said that despite the direct contrary to his ideal relationship of the last one walking down the aisle. his friends asked him how long can this relationship last, his reply is "i don't know". i am shattering his dream.

"jin can be with weider for a few years, but u can't be with a person for such a long time"

a direct hit. i was hurt but its true. the truth behind the hidden walls which i never wish to acknowledge.

a real gentleman who respects her decision while protecting her at the same time.

it may not be a good start, it may be out of obligation, whichever way it turns out to be, i feel that i need to make this man happy for what he has done for me.