31-07-05` dreams

had a strange dream 2 nights ago and it sets me thinking. it seems so real, just like a prediction of future.
somehow me and my boyfriend (dunno who he is) went out and we bump to this fortune teller. he says that we will be drowned. but my boyfriend can decide whether to let me survive by letting go of his hand and sink to the bottom of the sea or to let himself survive if he pulls himself up and drag me down. i looked at him and he remains silence. true enough, when we were rowing a boat, the boat capsized. i was nearer at the surface of the sea, whereas he's at the bottom. me holding tight onto his hands. i was struggling for air, waiting for his decision to either pull me down or let go. when i did my last struggle, he seems to know its time to make a decision and he.. let go. his eyes seems to be telling me to find a better guy outside and forget abt him. recalling this dreams bound to bring tears to my eyes.
i think this dream wanna tell me sth. i started to fit ppl in my lives to the role of the guy. how they would respond if he's my 'unknown' boyfriend. i came to a conclusion myself. one i know would let go, one would drag me down and another one.. have both possibilities. which do u think the category u falls into?

30-07-05` NDC

failed as operator, fail as being patient, fail as being assistant! birthday wish for next 20 years - to be a good clinician!

went suntec with joyce and peiqi. there's a car exhibit there and we had a poll of which cars each of us like. ended up me same as peiqi, casting joyce out. as usual, bully her! haas. the car is real cool man! can seat 7 ppl with automatic silding door, all paranomid surround sound blast, top leather seats. whooos! details pls refer to joyce. expertise in this field. she can be a car promotor and start rattling on which brand of cars engine good, more stylo, cheaper, more comfortable.. and the list goes on. we went to carrefour and guess what we got? i doubt anyone could make it right! we got ourselves towels! joyce even got hers an anti-bacterial one (becoz its the box nice only :p) she says wont grow fungus. lolz.. imagine wrapping her body with 7.90 towel. she's made of gold! peiqi got small lil facial towels. oh gosh, u bet she loves it to core! kept smoothening it and say 'whooo so smooth!!' wahaha! yupps, the texture is good, fine fabrics simply good enough for babies and her flawless skin. peiqi bought her fav apple juice and joyce who cant succub to the temptations copy her too! each carrying another 2litres of apple juice home! haas! thats what friends r for. inter-influence. the best part of the day is that.. we parted off with peiqi going home by train and through the citylink walkway and my adventurous journey with joyce begins!
1.we waited at the bus stop for our bus
2.check the bus board - her bus is available frm 2pm while mine is only frm 7.24pm. so nvm i'll switch a bus.
3.we waited for our bus.
4.and we waited..
5.and we .. waited..
6.we started to come to realise that there's few buses passing by
7.but still we waited..
8.we tot of.. 'could there be temporary road block within this area becoz of NDP preview?'
9.we saw ppl crowding ard the bus number pole.
10.yes, there is an announcement on the temporary closure of roads entering marina area. on 23/7, 30/7, 9/8 with effect frm 1pm-11pm.

PENGZ!!
with no buses coming in, how ARE WE GETTING OUT?

haas.. luckily joyce tot of taking bus on the oppo side which apparently still have buses which took other routes thats unaffected. we just charge up to ANY bus no without knowing where its heading! in our minds we just wanna leave this area and watch out for any familiar bus and hop onto it. so we sit in 107 with our hearts pumping hard. hahas.. then i come to realise that it actually passes by sgoon. my hometown. we got off somewhere in the middle ard kallang bahru and switch to 853. arhhhh.. we're saved!

conclusion - i feel that we're like spongebob and patrick. retardeds.

28-07-05` huh huhz..

tml going NDC again. assistant this time round. suppose to read and organise my notes but was struck down by lazy bug once again.
finally had an early day off! no electives today. yippie! wanna go out lehz.. WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS? hahaz.. perhaps i shud join happy tree friends or start up friendless account.

saw js on the way to garden bus stop! and again, in my worst state i bump to him. for dunno how many god-knows-times! always when i'm in specs and my curly hair (coz of the wrong sleeping posture - my ears are pressing onto my hair making a bum there, and it looks like an apple. -_-" ) we crossed the same road and he was walking beside me but i realise only until when he overtook me! aww..! but still manage to catch a tiny whinie glance of him. it makes my day different. simply great. *sheepish smile

26-07-05` scaling . jue dui superstar!

scaling
finally able to book an appt for my scaling. better get rid of the 2 yr old calculus before being probe by sher! haha.. ultrasonic causes so much pain! ouch! on and off does have the urge to box the DO. skipped the polishing part since i'll have a free polishing frm sher on sat. hees.. aunty spirit of saving money! my posterior really bad. got bleeding spots - mild gingivitis. think it progress until moderate. OHI -- flossing at the posteriors which i always skip coz lazy and hard to reach. the past experience of traumatising my posterior gingiva by slipping the floss all the way in still haunt me. u bet its painful! haas, back to the story, told him the reason why i skip polishing and explained that i'm dental student - oral therapist cum hygienist. he knows our lecturers are Dr Hema (still pronounced as 'heema' lolz), and dr kelvin koh. gotten one juicy gossip here! my dentist, Dr zul, did the extraction for dr kelvin's wisdom tooth while he's in NS! yeah! can go spread ard and tease kelvin!

jui dui superstar!
this is the 2nd time i've been to the live recording at mediacorp. its one of the most spectalular one yet! everyone is soooo..oOo good that its hard to imagine kicking any one of the contestants out. the 1st time i went there i saw peifen and this time i saw jay! but its slightly better this time coz i bumped to him at the bus stop and we took the same bus home! someone to talk to and share my tots. =) haas!! here are the basic infor of what i personally think.

jason - improvements. but somehow the energy song 'c'mon' is kinda distorted (as compared to live energy performance i've been to.)

weichoong - prince charming siahz! the makeover is 'whaooo!' bad boy image. singing is as good!

junyang - whoosh! the best! my prediction of the final jue dui superstar. he got everything it takes to be one. sang 'mo ri zhi lian' - i think its better than the oringinal singer z-chen eh? oeps!, 'di er tian tang' - on par with jj!

derrick - i cried when he sang the 1st verse! real tears frm my tear gland motor. and oh man, he can dance!

kelvin - solid singing. POWER! v encouraging remarks and marks frm the judges!! *claps*

hard to decide who stays and goes isnt it? aww... and i miss hagen so much. cried when the new mtv he's in was screened.

23-07-05` ndc

ndc
operator of the day - its disastrous!
trembling while probing sher. hahaz, both kept laughing. feel so guilty to make it hurts.

first time the birthday present frm me was thrown away. right down to the drain. when i say 'u can throw it away' means u can either throw in the rubbish, dump in rubbish chute, leave it there to rot. and not directly throw it 2 storey high infront of me and into the big lang-gao.

19-07-05` mom's b'day . hagen news

sad. sponsor money havent come till aug. cant get a decent present for my mom.



hagen news

陈孟奇－我到底做错了什么，大家这么讨厌我？！

觉得自己被淘汰是什么原因？

“不知道啊，很多因素，可能不够人缘吧…看到很多报道，记者或评判的评语…有好的，但也有很多坏的…我不想去看太多不好的…走在路上蛮多人上来告诉我喜欢我的跳舞、歌声…可是…不知道耶…我一向来都很诚恳…嗯…爸爸妈妈生我长这样子就是比较酷吧，酷就是讨人厌吧…不过我的舞台表现，我问心无愧！”
“其实每个人在看你之前，都会有自己的想法…如果他不喜欢你、看你不爽，你表现得再好都没有用的…”
孟奇说话语气很轻，速度很慢，不晓得是否因为不习惯讲华语的关系，他很努力地思索每个用词。思绪有些混乱，偶尔词不达意，但是尽量说标准华语的态度很诚恳。

翻身赛要如何应对？
“翻身赛我没有要求很多，我不会再跳舞，不会做很多东西…只会用唱的…不是因为别人的看法，是因为我自己想表演什么就表演什么…”
――当时听不觉得怎样，但是过后听录音，觉得他已经心灰意冷，提不起精神， 似乎“翻不翻身”已经不重要了。

网上有人说，你那天打断评判的话，很不礼貌…
孟奇（很无奈地）：“噢，会吗…OK…（家人朋友没有人讲过这样会不礼貌？）没有啊，他们都知道我的作风是这样…现在既然知道了，应该会改一改…”
“…唉，没有人告诉我什么话可以讲、什么话不可以讲…是不是有一个行为标准，说上电视就一定要这样做、那样做…我这样的诚恳度如果人家说是不好的，我就改进…但是有时意见很多，我也不晓得要听哪一个；好像跳舞，有人说我动作很小、有人说我动作太大…then要怎样～？唉，对不对？”
“很奇怪，我做的每一样东西都会被人家讲…我讲话也不对，不讲又说我虚伪…唉…那到底是要怎样？”
他情绪有一点激动，眼眶好像又开始红了。而且不晓得是否因为用他比较不熟悉的华语访谈，又或者有很多苦衷，他多次欲言又止，断断续续，语焉不详。

访后感：
后来问他，媒体是否对他不公平，他忍着泪说，他不想博取同情…
感觉他是个很上进、很用功的人，感情细腻、甚至敏感，待人处事没有经验，不够圆融，缺乏沟通技巧，直接或间接地造成一个接一个的误会。然后又因为太固执，放弃澄清，并认为纯粹是别人对自己不理解，是别人跟自己过不去，一方面告诉自己不去理会别人的眼光，但一方面又非常在意别人是否能接纳自己。
今天的他，跟第一次记者会的印象完全不一样。不知道大家还记得吗，他当时被媒体票选为－“绝对阳光奖”。(见详情)

但是，很多时候，解铃还需系铃人。

-with courtesy frm channel u

i cried.

11-07-05 -- 16-07-05

i'm slowest in labby. still cutting preps. luckily got yuan qi with me! hees.
the gathering -- mdm soh introduce me to the junior who looks alot like me. and me and my 'clone' began to stand side by side. got the 'chao ji ming xin lian' feel. lols. then ppl start crowding around to see and compare. alrights, its quite true, we do LOOK and SOUND alike. mdm soh say she mistake me as the junior when she's doing the lab work. she is.. border at her face; while i'm border at my waist. haha. glad to know a few of the juniors in my yellow group. kuo hsiong, shawn, wei qi, li chang and nicole. we had fun in the games though we lost. its okays, we did our best! hees. and the guys start calling me 'ying chun sister' or sth. ha!
i would say the gathering is a success! thanks weiwei!

10-07-05` blues

monday blues
having to stay till 6 turns the blues to black.

game over -- the meaning this phrase holds 4 years back. true now?

sCh reopens!

study study study!!
this sem is INDEED hectic. just like what dr hema said. wonder how the seniors went through this 'ordeal'. life must be tougher as it gets to yr 3.
we're starting the practs on deciduous teeth. so far luckily still on the 'safe lane' probably 1- becoz kelvin and mk more lenient in their grades. 2- the worse had yet to come. urgghh.. the newly-renovated-old lab is so... old! the dental unites seem to collapse any moment or given a harder push (which i always did) no more stepping on the control and 'swoooppp' the dummy goes up. NO. i'm wrestling and strangling my dummy. lab cum body building sessions, how great.
the lab sessions are killer. 4, 5 hrs one stretch. i tot i was seeing things when the amended version of it was release. i was complaining to cady like an auntie who lost in a bargain with the market aunty for more free chillies! oeppies. =x
we're gonna start attachment at NDC every sat, soon. yea, soon this sat. after being told how we manage to get a place there for training shud motivates us a lil, shut our complains. well, at least would be for now, before we actually have to go through the whole thing. had a strong feeling that we'll be 'GRILLED' there like helpless sotongs on BBQ pit-- u wanna escape but u cant.
gotta a good and bad news today. i just recieved the complementary tickets to 'initial D' movie that i won through teenage magazine contest. and the bad news is, i've watched it already. spending 10 bucks for the tickets. blehz. there's something really wrong with the timing. or rather MY timing. wahaha..!