#dreamworks - E

dreamed of E

A few nights ago and I can’t remember it now. Prom, secondary school, hmm something like that.
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3rd chance from iPhone X, thank you.

15/6, a very bad scare.

I lost my phone for the second time, in VivoCity. Being my usual careful self, I am distraught by how I lost track of my phone. The last I could recall was leaving it in the last cubicle for the elderly of the toilet in Block H. I thought I had lost it for good. The human traffic has been crazy on a Sat evening and I was so certain someone must have picked up, switched off and ready to cash in.

I lost my ezlink card along with it. The daunting thoughts of losing my contacts, photos, concerns with securities of contactless cards stored; $1800 to buy iPhone XS 256GB, getting to M1 in time before it closes to get another SIM card, the efforts to download, set up apps to restore functionality were just too depressing.

There were only 2 numbers I remembered that I can reach out for help - C, E. It slapped me that despite how much I’m in denial, they are the only 2 I can depend on when I’m faced with a crisis. That I have no one else or I chose not let others in, as yet. I tried using the public phone to call C, but the phone did not accept new coins or the Ezlink. I’m officially on my own.

Topped up my spare Ezlink and took a train back to sgoon. It was at Little India that I finally gathered my courage to ask stranger for help. I tapped on the shoulder of the girl to my left and asked if she could lend me her phone to make a phonecall cos I lost mine. I called my number (instinctively, to give a shot) and to much surprise and relief,  a man picked up the call. My phone is with the securities - someone picked it up and returned, apparently a male friend of the security meaning it’s unlikely picked up from the Ladies.

Somehow I’m still hanged on the thoughts that I may be losing my phone anytime. Not if, but when. I feel that I have exhausted all my good luck. And life wouldn’t give me more than 3 chances to screw up.. The recent loss of Jaybirds could have made all of this more real.

Thank you to the person who returned the phone
Thank you to the girl who lent me her phone
Thank you to the Mall Ambassador who bring me to the Securities
Thank God for watching over me, allowing all these people in and aligning the stars to make things meet. I made a promise that I’ll return to give my thanks and prayers if my phone is found. I will fulfill the promise.

#Dreamworks - C

Dreamed of C 

Couldn’t recall what exactly went into the dream. He was happier with another girl, I think. I knew I did the right thing, to let him go and pursue his happiness. A hinge of pity, maybe. That such a good man does not belongs to me, rather, I don’t deserve him. 

I came home to see $20 Singapore Bicentennial Commemorative note on my bed, along with a handwritten note by my mom saying it’s from C. I wanted to transfer him the money but it’ll rock the boat of status quo. Let’s keep peace. I’m sorry.

6 months onward

6 months since I last seen E.

Dreamed of going to his place, plain platonic friends w/o any bad thoughts, and KF came by. She went hysterical and somehow I feel sorry for her. Empathetic in a way. I would do likewise in her shoes. This possibly enlightens or reminds me I’m on the recovery path as I no longer have to go through these heartaches.

I should be the one consoling Joe for his recent breakup and it ended up I’m being talked to. About my resistance to move on, flawed personality of seriousness, pessimism.

Life lessons: reciprocal

I was taught and reminded again that life doesn’t go by reciprocal. You simply cannot expect others to treat you the way you do to them.