Skeletons in the closet.

I believed many would have some darkest secrets which they wished none would know in this lifetime.

I thought of telling Cal, but the hurt would be too massive. The repercussion of him leaving me for good hits me really hard.

One day when I am prepared, I shall tell him. Or so I hope.

Gone into hiding

I find myself getting more withdrawn. I have been crying more. I am so scared, of the unknown. I am flooded with thoughts, I couldn't do anything to fight them off. I am losing sleep.

I am clearing things in my room. There were items I like but I don't know where to place them. Pretty much reflecting my life now, cluttered, confused.

Nando's

Had Nando's on Day 4. I was expecting the quarter chicken to trap badly between the brackets, but it didn't. Without a doubt, the best meal I had since braces.

*
When you fall and you have a group of friends supporting, it reduces the impact. Thanks for being there.

**
Am seeing the results from my runs. Though it can be a shame that an uncle or grandpa can fast walk to overtake me jogging, it has been rewarding for starters. Gotta let my legs rest after 3 days streak.

Inno-C Ceramic Braces

I would have time for myself for this year, to do what I have to. 

The lateral incisors are going out of alignment and food begins trapping in between the lower right incisors. I wanted to re-align the rotation of the upper left too. The consequence of relying yourself on removable retainers, compliance is an issue. Quote from my boss, 'you're a naughty girl!', the next retainers shall be the fixed one. 

Day 1 was adaptation. Dr NY said the ceramic brackets were a tad large for my teeth size, so in order to prevent the upper teeth from chomping the lower brackets off, she put a bumper to open up the bite. The biting is only on that 2 molars, which makes eating incredibly hard and time consuming. From 8 points to 2 points, it's an agony. I couldn't quite close my lips either, with the brackets bulging. I was eating chicken rice which I craved so badly after returning from Europe, and it was a struggle to chew. I had tears in my eyes as I feel so handicapped and helpless. 

I was so whiny, lamenting on my disability. This is going to go for 6 months or so. Might take even longer if she were to procline my lower anterior to reduce the Class II anterior bite. The ideal plan was to do a bimax upper and lower jaw surgeries to retrocline the upper and procline the lower with braces to correct the cant and skeletal base, eliminate the gummy smile appearance. 'Too much trouble' she said, going through so much but it wouldn't make me look significantly different, and gutls do look a better with a little bugsy. 

The comfort food I had was takopachi, tasted as good as Osaka's. Minus the octopus which I can't chew on. I'd probably master the arts of biting with 2 molars, after a week or so. It'll be another 2 more weeks or so before the separators and molar bands. Till then, I shall whine again. 

Abuse

I wished you were the one waiting at the end of the aisle for me.

It is hard for us to even cross paths now.

*
I'm pushing myself, propelling forward. Feigning ignorance on my limits. A form of physical punishment for some mental torment I am through.

Reflect and repent.

Parcel sent

There goes the parcel. I guess this meant good bye.

*
I have to be firm. It will be for the betterment, for all of us. Let's stay strong.